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Cyats and Grooming

What is it that people have with women and hair?

I’m not even talking about women and our own hair, I’m talking about other people and their bold-facedness towards us shaving, plucking, cutting and grooming.

Cue the Prime Minister of Trinidad and Tobago- because the man can leave no sexist comment unturned. I would like to ignore the possibility of a pubic hair grooming analogy, and just focus on his usual blame game of women and wildness, but I’m tired of playing fair, and I just feel like being devil’s advocate today. It’s Friday the 13th so ‘low me. He says our men are abusing us because we let them in our bedrooms in the first place. The opposition leader is a Jamette. Kamla needs to hush she cyat. Well, yes. This from a man with daughters. His latest word vomit spills out as

“A golf course is like a woman, so you have to groom her every day otherwise it turns into a pasture.”

Well let me be a pasture then, because I much prefer feed the grazers with my lushness, than be mowed and manipulated just so men could wack their balls all over me. Only our Prime Minister, and possibly The Donald, could use a matter of squandering millions on a golf course and use it to enforce archaic chauvinistic ideals. “Groom her everyday”. Sigh. I will groom myself if and when I want. I don’t need men to whip me into shape when I am out of hand. I don’t want men to manners me. Not me. Wrong bitch.

I read a Rupi Kaur poem recently about laser hair removal. I too, have gone under and endured the sear, but for what? Why does hair offend us so much? And why so often are our decisions about this influenced by men, and what they would think of us?

“why do i do this

why do i punish my body

for being exactly as it’s meant to be?

i stop myself halfway through the regret

when i think of him and how

i’m too embarrassed to show him

unless it’s clean”

– Rupi Kaur

On the other end of this hairy conundrum, is the hair on our head. Seems like they want us to remove every follicle from our faces, legs and labia and transplant it into our scalp. When I cut my hair short the first time I knew the reactions would be mixed. Aside from the love and the surprise that I would make such a drastic change, came a lot of anger and criticism from my mother and another woman. I was told I should grow it back because I could lose my boyfriend. They said to me that a woman’s hair is her beauty, leaving me to assume I was no longer beautiful. Even yesterday I was talking with my mother and brought up wanting to cut it off again, and she begged me not to. She asked about what the guy I’m interested in thinks about short hair. She said I need to “please” him. Then we argued about it, because she cannot understand what I mean when I say that my appearance and my body are for me. Perhaps it’s her generation, and the overbearing patriarchal values of our Indian ancestry, but my mother cannot understand why I would ever want to cut my hair, especially if it is not pleasing to my man.

Hair, no hair– it should be OUR CHOICE.

#IwillGroomMyselfWhenIwantTo

sidenote: Has anyone organised a Jamette walk through POS yet?

Images from the latest work by Designer Sheneice James, Model Sebastian, and her “un-groomed”pits, Photographer Noelle Duquette with assistance from Franey Miller

*Rowley’s quotation was taken from Trinidad Guardian article posted OCT13 2017, written by Joel Julien

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